id be glad to
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
