Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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