he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
