Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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