No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found puke in my bra..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
