AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
