sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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