he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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