i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
