kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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