Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
