Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
