Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
