What a fucking waste of an outfit
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
