I'm eating all of the evidence.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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