the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
