Acid is not a monday night drug
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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