so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
its liver damage thursday
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