Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize