He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
