Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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