Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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