Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
