she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
