Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
