you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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