Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You were trust falling into bushes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
