Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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