He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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