Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
