you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
