Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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