my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
