My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
