Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
