remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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