singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
