hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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