jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
