He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
