I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
