At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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