party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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