i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
