Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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