two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
