brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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