I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
