But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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