what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
