so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
