Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I checked into jail on foursquare
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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