Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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