Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
