She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
