dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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