nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Your penis caused this!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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