I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
