My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
